“ghostin” — grief, love, and the space in between

!!! a small warning before you read: this post touches on grief, emotional distress, mental health struggles, and medical/therapy-related experiences.

“ghostin” is the kind of song that sits in that uncomfortable space between loving someone fully while still grieving someone else and somehow makes that emotional contradiction feel painfully human instead of messy. Your pain hurts them, their love makes you feel guilty, and you're caught between wanting to move forward and being terrified of letting go. It's a song about emotional contradictions: wanting to be honest but not wanting them to worry, wanting to heal but feeling like healing means forgetting. Ariana Grande somehow turns all of that into something painfully beautiful, and my God, what a devastating song it is. 

thank u, next Album Art  I  Copyright: Republic Records

ghostin

Artist:  Ariana Grande

Album:  thank u, next

Year:  2019

Verse 1

I know you hear me when I cry

I try to hold it in at night

While you're sleeping next to me

But it's your arms that I need this time (This time)

Look at the cards that we've been dealt

If you were anybody else

Probably wouldn't last a day

Every tear's a rain parade from hell (From hell) 

I know this song is often discussed in the context of Ariana Grande's engagement to Pete Davidson while grieving the loss of Mac Miller, but I don't really want to analyze it through the lens of their relationship. Something about dissecting real people's grief and private lives has always made me a little uncomfortable. So, as always, I'm going to do what I do best and connect it back to my own life lol. 

What makes this song resonate with me isn't grieving a past lover while being in a relationship–it's grieving a past version of myself. 

Chorus

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again

Over him, mmh

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again

'Stead of ghostin' him

Oh, what a heartbreaking chorus. It feels like desperately hoping you can get over your ghosts, or like they say: “ghost” them. 

Post-Chorus

We'll get through this, we'll get past this, I'm a girl with

A whole lot of baggage

But I love you, we'll get past this, I'm a girl with

A whole lot of baggage, oh yeah

As a girly who also has a lot of baggage, I feel this song too much! This part feels like the experience of trying to love someone while carrying wounds that have nothing to do with them. Hoping your ghosts won’t haunt this relationship you’re building.

Verse 2

Though I wish he were here instead

Don't want that living in your head

He just comes to visit me

When I'm dreaming every now and then (And then)

And after all that we been through (And after all that we been through)

There's so much to look forward to

What was done and what was said

Leave it all here in this bed with you (With you)

Grief is such a powerful emotion–it lingers, it haunts, and it quietly holds onto you even when you’re trying to move forward. It can keep you tethered to the past, even when there’s so much life still waiting for you ahead. And sometimes, it doesn’t matter how good things get.. a part of you is still learning how to exist without what you lost..

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Favorite !

Baby, you do it so well

You've been so understanding, you've been so good

And I'm puttin' you through more than one ever should

And I'm hating myself 'cause you don't want to

Admit that it hurts you

I know this is such a heartbreaking song, but to me, it also feels like an ode (especially this part) to the people who stayed with me through everything–especially during the doctor’s appointments, the medication, the withdrawal, and all the in-between moments that don’t really get talked about. 

Ariana Grande – ‘thank u, next’ Album Review  I Music Matters Media

"ghostin" is heartbreaking, but in a strange way, it’s also gentle–it gives shape to feelings we often struggle to explain, especially when love and grief exist in the same space. My take from this song is that healing doesn’t always look like moving on perfectly; sometimes it’s just learning how to keep going while carrying what you’ve lost. And if you’re in that in-between place too, I hope you remember that you’re not broken for feeling deeply–you’re just human, still learning how to hold both pain and love at the same time.

And just like Vision said in WandaVision, “What is grief if not love persevering?”

D.

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