“Me & My Dog” — the exhaustion of loving through anxiety, wrapped in alt-indie music
- Donnut Moonyap
- Dec 17, 2023
- 5 min read
Updated: May 27
!!! a small warning before you read: this post touches on anxiety, panic attacks, ED-related themes, grief/pet loss, heartbreak, and mental health struggles.
“Me & My Dog” feels like the moment after a breakup where your body finally catches up to the grief your mind has been trying to outrun. The song moves through love, loss, and panic so intimately that it almost feels claustrophobic, like being trapped inside your own spiraling thoughts with nowhere to put them. And then suddenly, all that’s left is this overwhelming desire to escape–to leave everything behind, disappear for a while, and exist somewhere quieter with something that still feels safe.
Me & My Dog
Artist: boygenius
EP: boygenius
Year: 2018
This song was my first introduction to boygenius. I remember discovering this and immediately feeling connected to it, even though I didn’t fully understand what it meant yet. I just held onto certain lines and let myself feel them!
Later on, I found out that Phoebe Bridgers told Pitchfork she wrote “Me & My Dog” about having a panic attack and wanting to escape the reality of her anxiety and be with her dog, Max, who sadly passed away in 2019. And somehow, that made the song hurt even more.
Verse 1
We had a great day
Even though we forgot to eat
And you had a bad dream
And we got no sleep
'Cause we were kissing
Even with everything pointing toward a bad day–forgetting to eat, having a bad dream, getting no sleep–being with your lover somehow changes everything. And of course, there’s also the bonus of spending all night kissing haha! But knowing Phoebe’s use of past tense makes the memory feel distant, almost like she’s remembering something that has already slipped away. Still, there’s something really beautiful about it–the way imperfect days can become soft in hindsight when they are shared with someone you loved.. a day spent with someone special, marked by simple joy and intimacy.
Verse 2
I had a fever
Until I met you
Now you make me cool
But sometimes I still do
Somethin' embarrassing
I love their play on words here. Before this soured relationship, she describes feeling like she has a fever–literally “hot”–and then after meeting this person, she becomes “cool.” It can also read as being sick before and then feeling cured once they enter her life.
But the next line comes through, revealing that while this person might make her feel more interesting or seen, she’s still carrying a kind of awkwardness underneath it all. It adds a touch of vulnerability and humanises the relationship.
Chorus: (excerpt)
I wanna be emaciated
I wanna hear one song without thinkin' of you
The climax of the song! Here, we’re sonically sent into outer space by Julien and Lucy’s harmonies to Phoebe. The emotion in this part feels too big for earth, I feel like this spongebob meme!
And this line hit close to home for me in a very specific way, especially in relation to my own struggles with ED. It reflects that unsettling urge to turn pain inward or to resort to self-destruction in exchange for going back to that early “honeymoon” stage.
Chorus: (cont’d) Outro:
I wish I was on a spaceship I dream about it
Just me and my dog and an impossible view And I wake up falling
That feeling of wanting to escape Earth entirely and just float somewhere far away with your dog.. like comfort becomes this imagined place you can only reach in dreams. But then reality hits, and you’re pulled back down–like you’re falling–the moment you wake up.
I’m like this too with Tokyo, my baby. She was my world, and she got me through some of my hardest nights when I didn’t even want to be here anymore. I would go downstairs, find her, and just hold her while I cry my eyes out. And somehow, it felt like she understood.
Losing her, like Phoebe losing Max, was devastating to say the least. But my mom, bless her heart, surprised me with Mochi, and she’s helped make grief feel a little more bearable. I still think of Tokyo all the time, though. And in a way, it feels like she sent Mochi–because on the days everything gets too heavy again, Mochi just stays. She’ll lie with me in bed all day if she has to, letting me hold her, like she knows..
Favorite !
I never said I'd be alright
Just thought I could hold myself together
When I couldn't breathe, I went outside
Don't know why I thought it'd be any better
I'm fine now, it doesn't matter
This is my favorite because oh! How this part is like my life lol.
It reflects that anticipation and internal pressure when you’re dealing with anxiety or any mental health struggle–you don’t really promise yourself or anyone that everything will be okay, only that you’ll try to hold yourself together. Most people have felt this in some way, whether in full breakdowns or in those quiet moments of pretending to be calm while everything feels overwhelming inside.
It also vividly describes a part of panic attacks of trying to escape it by changing your environment–like going outside or moving somewhere else–only to realize the anxiety follows you anyway, offering no real relief. And that last line feels like the aftermath: either the anxiety is slowly fading or that attempt to downplay what happened so no one worries.
I remember playing this song and a few others from the record while we were looking for parking in a mall in Makati with my boyfriend. He ended up liking it, and I felt weirdly proud–like I was the one who wrote the songs or something lmao.
I fell in love with this because as I mentioned earlier, Phoebe described this song as being about having a panic attack and wanting to escape reality and be with her dog, and that feeling resonates with me–first with Tokyo, and now with Mochi. It reminded me of yes, heartbreaks in relationships, but more so of wanting to run towards my babies for comfort when everything else feels too heavy.
“Me & My Dog” feels like wanting to briefly disappear from your own life just to escape how heavy everything has become. boygenius turns burnout, heartbreak, and loneliness into something painfully specific yet universally felt, especially in the way the song reaches for the simple comfort of a dog–or any pet–something safe, grounding, and softer than the noise in your head.
It doesn’t fix the pain, but it makes it feel less lonely, like you’re allowed to pause and just be held by something gentle while you try to get through it. And I hope this reminds you that survival doesn’t always have to look strong or put-together–sometimes it just looks like staying, breathing, and letting yourself be comforted until things feel a little more bearable.
D.
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